The HeadBang Game
by Renee Stancato
Summary: Naruto, Gaara, Kiba, Sasuke, and Shikimaru are sent on a mission together directly from the Hokage. 'Have fun.' But trouble starts immediately with the dishing of the chores, this is their solution. Total crackfic.


**The Head-Bang Game**

**Naruto, Gaara, Kiba, Sasuke, and Shikimaru are sent on a mission together directly from the Hokage. Have fun. But trouble starts immediately with the dishing of the chores, this is their solution. (warning; nonsensical humor/oneshot).**

**Oh yea, and, I own not Naruto or any of the characters whose names you recognize. **

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There was a table.

Everyone sat at the table.

Even thought they couldn't see in the dim light very well, as the group had had Naruto board the windows and doors of the rooms they were staying at for the mission, so that no one could interrupt their game. And so that no innocent bystanders where harmed by random outbursts of temper from loosing, yet powerful, ninjas.

And the tension in the air grew.

"Call," Naruto said.

"Ace," Gaara called.

"Nine," Kiba called.

"King," Sasuke called.

"Duo," Shikimaru called. In the background there was snarling and sighs as the Highest Possible Scoring Cards were shown around, two two's of hearts. It was a practically unheard of, as it required so much luck.

Kiba growled softly before folding, he was completely outclassed with a nine; Shikimaru commented under his breath as Kiba threw the cards and stalked off. Now it was his job to calm the luckless nin down before he figured out where the poison was. As last place, Kiba was now the cook.

It was also a good reason to escape from the growing tension between Gaara and Sasuke, a very dangerous thing to be caught in the middle of.

"Okay. Shikimaru won first place, second place does laundry…" Naruto started, but trailed off when both remaining ninja's turned to glare at him hard.

"I refuse." Gaara stated simply, the top of the gourd rattling, the sound of sand shifting making even Sasuke nervous.

Shikimaru took this time to free one of the windows with three powerful punches, and dragging a still ranting Kiba free of the blast zone.

"But, Gaara, you said…you agreed to the…terms…"

"Oh yea? And who made those terms? Yea, you. And what do _you_ 'have' to do? _Walk. A. Dog._ You have _no_ right to force me to do the laundry, loud mouth." Gaara exploded, but his face showed no anger, only a very passive aggressive expression. Eyes never leaving Sasuke's.

Who started to snicker.

Bad decision, so very bad.

"And what does _Sasuke_ have to do, huh, Naruto? You going to let him go free because of your _crush_?" Gaara continued his rant, but this time, some of the sand began to swirl around him, just visible.

"Gaara. Sand away. Now," Naruto tried to get control of the fraying situation, he never should have offered the idea of a card game in the first place.

"No! Not until you tell me what _he_ has to do!"

Naruto calmly stated, "He has to clean."

Instantly sand got put away, and now Gaara was laughing. And smiling, though it was more of a slight smirk.

Sasuke threw a poker chip at him, and Gaara's mirth stopped instantly.

The two looked at each other with hate in their eyes, and far in the distance a guy by the name of Naruto could be heard pounding his head on the table, cards flying everywhere…

Owari!

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Thanks for taking the time to read this…rather random plot bunny! Only after I wrote this did I realize that they have a retarded system. Whatever game their playing, gives First Place a Get By Free pass, last place has to cook. And then second place has to do laundry, and third must clean.

They need to check priorities, methinks. Cooking is awesome! Laundry should have been last place! And why don't I just change the fic b/c I'm the f-ing author?

The world will never kno T.T

Hope ya liked!

Oh, and, Naruto doesn't actually –have- a crush on Sasuke, I happen to find that pairing more than a little hard to believe, but it does make for a nice insult, no?


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